I knew it would be a hard election. I didn’t allow myself to believe it would be this hard. As Christians, we have a fundamental call to see each other as sacred children of God. And that recognition beckons us toward action marked by the work of reconciliation and healing.
Scripture continually centers us: The great commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, The story of the Good Samaritan, The image of the body in 1 Corinthians 12, The final judgement in Matthew 25. Over and over, we are challenged to embrace God’s love in our own heart and to share that love with others. Even more profound, there is a primary call to share that love with those we see as most undeserving.
So, looking in the mirror, I am forced to ask myself: Am I seeing the other side of the election battle with love? How am I engaging others to foster reconciliation and healing? Do I avoid joining the partisan battles and engage in a positive way?
On November 4th, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin reflected on our election, “Whatever the outcome is going to be, we remain a deeply divided, polarized nation, more than at any time in our recent history.” Reaching out and working toward healing and reconciliation will not happen without intention and hard work. It will not happen without surrendering our own sense of superiority. It will not happen without being willing to see the glimmer of truth and gift in the other side.
There is a concept central to BeFriender Ministry called Mutuality. Mutuality is the respectful give and take between and among two or more persons. It requires intentional willingness to engage. It requires a wise understanding that people make sense of the world through a complicated mixture of past experiences—interpreting life through the lens they have lived. While neither right nor wrong, it is their interpretation. It requires a willingness to hold oneself open to another—letting go of one’s own judgements or agendas. Mutuality can exist on two levels—both valid, sacred ways of connecting.
Level One Mutuality calls us to actively listen to the story of another. With respect and dignity, “we listen not to judge, probe, evaluate, or advise but rather to hear and understand from that person’s perspective.” This takes work. It requires commitment to surrender the desire for rebuttals. It requires remembering the sacredness of the other. It opens us up for possible transformation. In the wisdom of BeFriender Ministry, this Level One Mutuality is to be 90% of our communication. Ninety percent of our time is actively listening, staying willing to engage.
Level Two Mutuality, only 10% of this sacred communication, is experienced when trust is built through non-judgmental listening of Level One. It is in this moment that we respectfully offer our perspective. The reality: you may stay at Level One and never enter Level Two—and that can be enough.
Can we listen to understand? Trusting that God is present, actively listening in a non-judgmental way, makes room for the miracles of the Holy Spirit. Indeed, our God is active among the division and brokenness. We are all called to trust God and listen.